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Man sollte meinen, das man sich "zu Hause" wohl f�hlt, dass man sich sicher f�hlt, ohne gro�e Sorgen. Man sollte meinen, dass man sich zu Hause auch "zu Hause" f�hlt.
Irgendwie ist das in letzter Zeit von mir abgefallen, da ist kein wohl f�hlen, kein sicher f�hlen, kein gar nichts. Versteht mich nicht falsch, ich mag unser Haus, meine Eltern, meine Schwester, wenn sie denn einmal da ist. Aber irgendwie ist da kein heimisches Gef�hl mehr, nur noch eine Art von "Leere" gef�llt nur mit t�glichen Aufgaben, wie "aufr�umen", "rasen m�hen", "hausaufgaben". Viel mehr ist nicht zu tun.

Manchmal h�tte ich gerne einen Hund um einen Grund zu haben, ab und an einmal drau�en rumzulaufen, ohne grund mag ich das nicht. Bestimmt habe ich sp�ter einen. Irgendwann.

Manchmal erwische ich mich bei dem�Gedanken "Nur noch 2 jahre, dann habe ich mein eigenes Leben, fort von hier." Dann f�hle ich mich ganz schlecht, weil ich es doch eigentlich ganz gut habe "zu Hause".

Vielleicht ist es ja menschlich, sich irgendwann "l�sen" zu wollen, ein eigenes Leben zu haben, aber ich wusste nicht, dass dieses Gef�hl so stark, so dominant sein kann.

Geld sammeln, sich einen Nebenjob besorgen, ja, wenigstens daf�r gewinne ich dank diesem Gef�hl Elan.
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So hey again.� Iapos;m sitting here on what I guess would be another prototypical sunday during my period of life as a college student.

As far as immediate things go, things are going well.� Iapos;m pretty sure I did decently on both of my tests, I passed my teaching obeservation, and�I am halfway through my unit plan for teaching.�

That said I am currently dwelling on the fact that I have so much work to do, I need to get my act together and get in shape, and I feel at times that itapos;ll be impossible to find a half-way decent woman who is romantically interested in me.� And to be entirely honest that has me down.

Mandi has stopped talking to me completely, and I canapos;t quite understand why.� Since I donapos;t know the inner workings of her life, I will just assume some friend assured her she could do better, or she met a guy who was more appealing.� Or, she just decided she wanted to focus on her academic endeavors for the time being.

Anyways thatapos;s frustrating.

I dumped the girl I was dating before that Alayna.� And while Iapos;m sure Iapos;d enjoy having her affection, it wasnapos;t a good situation.� She lived with her mother, had a job as a dance teacher (but wasnapos;t getting enough money to move out of her momapos;s house before she was ancient), and her mom was just domineering.� She seemed nice enough, but wouldnapos;t let Alayna who was 21 call a guy (what?).� Alayna was also boring.� What I mean is it seemed like we had very little in common interest wise.� Church and southern conservatism seemed to be her life, and while I dig religion to some extent, thatapos;s not really what Iapos;m about as a person...

Anyways, there could be someone at UGAapos;s presbyterian student center, but I havenapos;t been there enough recently to see that through.�

There is also someone I have a huge crush on someone who I know through something related to school.� The problem is I am "pretty" sure she has a boyfriend.� At least I think she said this in passing once.� However, Iapos;m not positive.� The guy she supposedly is in a relationship with on facebook either claims heapos;s gay or is saying that as a joke.� And furthermore, the bad, lustful, part of me, is convinced that Iapos;m just a better match for her then whoever she is dating.� We get along so well when we talk.� But getting along doesnapos;t necessarily mean two people are meant to date, it could just mean weapos;re suppose to be friends.� Itapos;d be so nice if she was single or "liked" me too.� But things like that donapos;t generally happen that way.� At least not in my world.

I guess aside from school and crushes, there isnapos;t a whole lot I feel like discussing.

I will say that politically Iapos;m frustrated with this country.� One seemingly bright teacher I work with at my school is a conservative solely because of the abortion/pro-life issue.� Pesonally, I think thatapos;s stupid.� There are so many more pertinant issues such as our economy, the war in Iraq, the possibilty of upsetting Korea and making a war occur there, terriost attacks, the baby boom generation and the impact thatapos;ll have on society, etc, etc, etc.�

In general, I like Obama, but I am concerned that in this economy that going tax-happy on certain businesses/industries will just make things worse.� Yes, I agree that taxation in a dismal economy can be effective because the taxes can be used to create new government jobs.� But, I wonder if that is what Obama would really do with these tax increases.� Additionally he plans to tax gasoline and oil companies, which will raise the price of gas.� I do agree that since gas prices didnapos;t fall when Bush gave a tax break to not drop the tax levels, but I donapos;t see how increasing them will do much good.� Futhermore, Obama seems to be too idealistic and say heapos;s going to do all these things if put in office.� Thatapos;s great, but it just doesnapos;t seem possible to do everything.� Even with a democratic majority in the house and senate.

McCain.� 8 years ago I really liked McCain, because he seemed to be a conservative-moderate.� But over the last 8 years heapos;s seemed to sell his soul and preach enitrely conservative views just to become president.� So if McCain was elected, what policies would he actually institute?� Another problem I have is the fact that he nominated Palin.� Donapos;t even get me started on the people who think that was a good choice.� It makes my blood boil.� He should have at least tried to nominate Kathryn Ann Bailey Hutchison first.��At least she isnapos;t even remotely an embarassment to women like Palin.��The other thing that concerns me is McCain, like many conservatives, has a "stay in a war to win at all costs" mentality.� I havenapos;t been following the debates but a know around a year ago, he said if he was elected heapos;d stay in Iraq and significantly increase troop deployment.�

In essence, neither candidate thrills me,�but both are better than Bush.� Iapos;ll just pray if McCain wins, he doesnapos;t get assainated.� If Palin become president, I would "consider" moving to Canada.

Peace-
Stephen


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So... With WotLK coming and class changes, some people from my guild decided to change mains. That on itself isnapos;t a problem

The thing is that they decided to transfer all EP from their previous mains to the "new mains". I donapos;t think itwould be fair for someoneapos;s work to be null because they changed mains, really. But they have anso stated that new mains will have priority because this or that. What?

I came in late to that guild. They were mid-BT when I joined. And since� my luck with loot is rotten,� I have never seen any of the plate DPS pieces drop. Ever. And thinks like necks, rings and caps go to people with more EP. That, Iapos;m not complaining about.

What does piss me off is that half the raiders have switched to ret pallies. Last week, we run BT with no EP because the EP thingy was borked. The RoS boots I have been wanting since forever dropped. Guess who got them? Not me. Granted, that wasnt that big of an upgrade, but I keep thinking about the things that are, indeed, a decent upgrade. I cantapos; see how its fair that someone who already has� a character thats infinitely better geared than me has priority on loot over me. The first thing that comes in mind is that neck from Supremus. So ret pally #1037401734 gets to pick it up TWICE� And what do I do, sit down and cry?
�
I am not usually a loot whore. I am actually the dumb person that passes loot if its a better upgrade for someone else. But it does bother me that my chances of getting upgrades now are borked because people ar playing characters that they probably will abandon if the Ret nerfhammer comes. One of them has stated that heapos;s moving to his moonkin if ret gets nerfed.

I know gear shouldnt matter right now, even though some of mine will probably�last me for a while. What does bother me is that to me, it seems like�the Officers are manipulating that to their favor. I cant possibly see how favoring new mains from people who� are going to keep playing the same�characters is fair. I cant see how getting the same pieces twice instead of letting someone have them is�fair. Or maybe I just need a reality�check and some people to tell me Iapos;m being dumb and�I shouldnt care about this...�


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i dont understand why people get tattoos of naked people on them. And the naked people are always girls. I think its odd. I was looking at the pictures of the tattoos of the girl who did my tattoo, and she tattooed a�naked girl on the middle of a girls back. And i think its stupid. But i guess whatever.

anyway. I went to panera bread with mary and we walked around target for a while. I didnt tell her about my little guy/girl cause i figured i didnt really need all of kohls knowing yet. She told everyone about my other job so i figured i shouldnt tell her about this. And then when i got home after being very frustrated with driving, mike came over. And we went to dairy queen and got ice creme yum. Mmm. And then we layed in my room. The end.

i have so much homework to do. I should prolly get a start on it. Especially my film class since that is due on monday and i have to work tomorrow. Well, i dont work on sunday though. I dont know.

alright. Well. Good night. <3

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LOL. I thought we were going to watch the Emma adaption with Gweneth Paltrow in it, because my filming lit prof told us to read Emma for this week.�

It turns out that the movie Clueless was actually based on the novel Emma by Jane Austen.� I did not know this, in fact, Iapos;ve never even seen Clueless before.� I didnapos;t think it was a big deal, but apparently Iapos;ve been living under a rock for the past 13 years because all of the other girls in the course were mortified when I said so.� Even the TA said sheapos;s seen it 15 times.�

Awesome.



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drenagh limavady

I canapos;t believe how long itapos;s been. I left LJ to persue my writing career since that really went nowhere, here I am... Begging for more.

I started this blog to sort out my thoughts, have a record of my thoughts, my actions, feelings... Why did I stop? I didnapos;t stop thinking, doing or feeling. Sure parts of me go numb at times, numb with fear, disappointment, happiness and love.

Not working for 9 months (give or take) has really taken its toll on me. Letapos;s rewind for a second, perhaps update those who have fallen behind since my last blog, so very long ago.

After my internship was over at Fashion Television, I graduated college again. Got another useless piece of paper called a diploma, worked at WalMart, GM Durham College. Then I got my break as a Business Reporter with Metroland. I hate business they hated me. Needless to say after a heavy blow to my small ego, I was fired have taken moths to pick up the pieces of my career.

I have had plenty of important interviews, none of which amounted to anything other than a lovely GO train ride for a day in Toronto.

My hope has dwindled. Passion slowly fading away. Love of writing... dead.

I wonder if LJ can bring me back to who I used to be. What I used to love.

This used to be about heartache, desire, lust fear. Iapos;ve learned there is a time place for all of that now. I have fallen madly in love, perhaps even found who I was meant to find.
I am happy with my life.
My health has taken its fair share of small hits, but itapos;s doing alright for now.
Everything that matters to me is going swimmingly.
All but one.

The one thing I always felt like I needed to give me direction. A career. Itapos;s at a complete standstill I have no idea what to do about it. Applying for countless jobs, attending interviews, nothing is working out. All in good time, I keep telling myself... But a year? a whole year wasted... On nothing.

It has really taken its toll on me. I donapos;t want to attend parties or social events because I always get asked the same questions: What do you do now? Any new prospects? Why havenapos;t you found anything yet? When do you expect to work again?

... Iapos;ve become obsessed with my dream, no longer a goal, but a far away dream. No job posting or interview will change that fact.

Am I�just dreaming now? And what happens when I�wake up?

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