drenagh limavady

I canapos;t believe how long itapos;s been. I left LJ to persue my writing career since that really went nowhere, here I am... Begging for more.

I started this blog to sort out my thoughts, have a record of my thoughts, my actions, feelings... Why did I stop? I didnapos;t stop thinking, doing or feeling. Sure parts of me go numb at times, numb with fear, disappointment, happiness and love.

Not working for 9 months (give or take) has really taken its toll on me. Letapos;s rewind for a second, perhaps update those who have fallen behind since my last blog, so very long ago.

After my internship was over at Fashion Television, I graduated college again. Got another useless piece of paper called a diploma, worked at WalMart, GM Durham College. Then I got my break as a Business Reporter with Metroland. I hate business they hated me. Needless to say after a heavy blow to my small ego, I was fired have taken moths to pick up the pieces of my career.

I have had plenty of important interviews, none of which amounted to anything other than a lovely GO train ride for a day in Toronto.

My hope has dwindled. Passion slowly fading away. Love of writing... dead.

I wonder if LJ can bring me back to who I used to be. What I used to love.

This used to be about heartache, desire, lust fear. Iapos;ve learned there is a time place for all of that now. I have fallen madly in love, perhaps even found who I was meant to find.
I am happy with my life.
My health has taken its fair share of small hits, but itapos;s doing alright for now.
Everything that matters to me is going swimmingly.
All but one.

The one thing I always felt like I needed to give me direction. A career. Itapos;s at a complete standstill I have no idea what to do about it. Applying for countless jobs, attending interviews, nothing is working out. All in good time, I keep telling myself... But a year? a whole year wasted... On nothing.

It has really taken its toll on me. I donapos;t want to attend parties or social events because I always get asked the same questions: What do you do now? Any new prospects? Why havenapos;t you found anything yet? When do you expect to work again?

... Iapos;ve become obsessed with my dream, no longer a goal, but a far away dream. No job posting or interview will change that fact.

Am I�just dreaming now? And what happens when I�wake up?

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